As we head toward South Africa and the 2010 FIFA World Cup title as is our destiny we can look back on a long a glorious history when Robbie Keane hold aloft the Cup and we remember back to other times in our history when (to quote my brother) “we thought we were great!” But in that dim and distant past there was a time when Ireland were kings of the soccer world, not only once but twice.

One of the offshoots from this glorious game was the birth of a different breed of animal. An animal that is mainly nocturnal is very unsociable and apparently has very bad eyesight. That animal I know as a Statto. To admit to being one is akin to telling the World that your believe Star Trek is real, that you love ABBA, women scare you and you still live with your mammy even though you are turning 50. But so be it for football statistic are where it is at for these poor unfortunate creatures and for some it is a life or sorts. But to be king of this sad society you have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have no life and one of these kings came up with a new and novel approach to soccer statistics.

Who that was is unclear but some of the lads at the RSSSF (a sort of porno site for Statto’s) came up with an Unofficial World Championship. Taking boxing as its premise it set up a statto’s wet dream of whoever beat the holders of the World title automatically became World Champions and started with the first ever international match which was between Scotland and England in 1872. Now as every statto in the World knows that match ended scoreless so a re-match of sorts was held the following year between the two and England won 4-2 to become the first World Champions. They held the title until the next match when Scotland won and thus became the Champions of the World.

The title would pass between the two until Ireland, then a united side, beat Scotland in 1903 to become the third country to hold the title. Wales became the fourth in 1909 and it stayed in Britain until 1931 when Austria had the elephant whatevers to beat Scotland and carry the title off to Vienna. It then pass to various nations until the USA beat England in 1950 to claim the title. They held it but for a few short days until Chile put them in their place.

By the start of 1977 the title was in the hands of West Germany before they travelled to Paris to take on the French. The French won 2-0 and thus regained the title for the second time. Their first defence of that title would be in Dublin against the Republic of Ireland.

The match was on the 30th of March in 1977 and a team of Mick Kearns, Paddy Mulligan, Jimmy Holmes, David O’Leary, Mick Martin, Gerry Daly, Liam Brady, Ray Treacy, Steve Heighway , Johnny Giles and Don Givens took on the French which included Michel Platini in front of a packed Lansdowne Road and won 1-0 thanks to a splendid goal from Liam Brady. Ireland were now holders of the World Title and our first defence would be against Poland at Dalymount Park. The match ended scoreless so Ireland still held the title. It was then off to Bulgaria and amid goals disallowed, a pitch fight and sendings off Ireland lost their crown 1-2 to the home side.

The title then whizzed its way around the World for the next few years even ending up back with the United States who then lost it to Australia. Israel even held the title for a few years but by 2004 it was firmly in the hands of the powerful Czech Republic. They had successfully defended the title against Austria, Canada and Italy before they made one of the frequent trips to Dublin on the last day of March 2004. They Irish side they faced was for the most part an experienced one. Shay Given was in goal, and along with Ian Harte, Ken Cunningham and Kevin Kilbane had passed the 50th cap mark and Robbie Keane was on the verge of doing so. Also in the first XI was Gary Doherty, Matt Holland, Damien Duff, Clinton Morrison and two players winning their third caps, Alan Maybury and Andy Reid. The Czechs had the like of Petre Czech (then at Rennes), Juventus’s Pavel Nedved, the huge Jan Koller and Liverpool’s Milan Baros.

After a scoreless first half Ireland took the lead when Ian Harte scored the 9th of his remarkable 11 goals he was to score for Ireland. The Czechs leveled late on with another strike from Baros and it looked as if the Czechs had successfully defended their title until the goal machine that is Robbie Keane popped up with a last minute winner. Ireland were World title holders again!

Our first defence was to be in Poland and yet another scoreless draw with the Poles in a match which saw Jonathon Douglas of Blackburn and Jason Byrne of Shelbourne make their debuts. Then it was back to Dublin for the second defence this time against Romania. Martin Rowlands made his debut and Ireland won 1-0 with a Matt Holland goal. Then we headed to London for the Unity Cup and a game against Nigeria. Oh dear! Nigeria whipped our asses with two goals from Bartholomew Ogbeche and another from Obafemi Martins to carry the crown off to Africa where it was to stay for the next year.

And now a salivating Donal will give you the stats on all the holders up until Ireland lost it. On second thoughts it is just too exciting so instead I direct you to the website which I go to a darkened room to cool off!
www.rsssf.com/miscellaneous/unoff-wc.html